Hiding Behind The Tears of a Clown

It's been so long since that awful day occurred,

I never thought I would be able to stop my elongated tears that tore up my heart.
Just getting through that day, acting like everything was OK,
When all I wanted to do was run away.

I focused on just being able to breathe,
In-and-out, In-and-out until I arrived home.
The tears poured out of my punctured heart,
I had been deceived by them both and now they were together,
And, I was all alone...

I felt betrayed, angered but most of all so so sad,
and all I could do was write down in my notepad.
I possessed an inferno of jealously because she had what I wanted, what I thirsted for,
He chose her which, prompted my self-hate,
And, I was just so fucking depressed.

That bastard made me second guess myself because he didn't want me,
His words mislead my heart and I was completely and utterly broken.
No one knows how much he really means to me or how much I have hurt,
And, I won't let him have the pleasure of my many tears.

I look to the stars for guidance and to be one day "saved" from all this hurt,
I am damaged goods and I need someone, anyone to save me.

***"I won't always love what I'll never have, I won't always live in my regrets..." - Jimmy Eat World.